Generosity….?I’dve given her the one bale for nothing…..
Im afraid not nothing for nothing and very little for tuppence with me☺☺ Seriously though it was she who insisted i take the tenner .Put me thinking about how to break into the hen bedding market ...... Though now that i think about it a few forays into the hen feed job with oats didnt work out to well in the distant past ..
Let me see must have been 83 and i was cutting oats in a field that was part baled when a hiace van with a " banana boat " trailer something like a cut down caravan drove into the field . Three hardy looking bucks got out and wanted to buy 100 bales of straw . Now i was a very raw young fella then and sales were very much the guvnors department but in his absence i sold them the hundred at 35 p each which was the going rate
The made short work of loading them and when i was unloading at the top headland the boss came over and handed me two twenty pound notes
I clapped my pockets and said i had no change and he said "" shure the are great looking oats can i have a small bag of them for the hens instead of the fiver ??? The hens will give lashings of eggs ."
Of course big shot thinking of another fiver for pints at the weekend told him of course " work away " . Now it was a long narrow field and the oats been partially lodged required my full attention so it was only at the bottom while turning that i could see the trailer at the top . And what a sight two of the men were on top of the load legs spread with sacks between them scooping oats like Tinkers picking spuds the third was carrying sacks that the handed down over to the van.....
Im being robbed fuccking blind here was my first thought my second was what if the auld fella comes on the scene he was due to resume baling and empty the loads !!! If he knew i would be condemmed as " not to right in the head " one of his favourite expressions God rest him . I shoved the combine into top gear and raced for the trailer shouting and waving at them .
About a hundred yards from the trailer the hopped into the van and flew by me with a big wave and a loud beep of the horn heading for the gate
Hmm a good half ton of oats for a fiver not one of my better results but at least the old man remained in the dark ....
Another year an old hag who was locally reputed to be a Witch asked me for five cwt of oats for hens . " Deliver them on Saturday and i will pay you whatever you want " she said. Music to my young ears i duly rocked up on Saturday with the oats and carried them into a foul smelling shack . Them when i mentioned money she called me all sort of obscene names and threatened to " plant a sheaf for me " I hit full reverse and fled .
On making inquiries the general consensus was that i should chalk it up to experience .
The really annoying thing was her daughter would dig me out of it in public if our paths crossed over trying to " rob her mother "
The great Bo Diddley always said " if you do the gig get da dollar and fucck the rest " but sometimes you have to cut and run ....